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French Toast

by Custer

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1.
Hairbow 03:01
this song is about you darlin though I'm sure you'll never know cause I've wrapped my feelings up and tied them tight with your hairbow oh this song is about you darlin though I'm sure you'll never know cause I've wrapped my feelings up and tied them tight with your hairbow I'm afraid you'd laugh me out the door and never come again cause I'm not man enough to be anything more than your best friend and I'll keep myself up all night dividing every word searching for some hidden message in this bottle that you've sailed ashore in dreaming of the day when I can work the meaning out be bold and unafraid, stand up tall, scream and shout but til then I'll sit beside you and wish I wasn't lying with my presence til then I'll wait and try to maintain some sense of ignorance cause this song is about you darlin though I'm sure you'll never know cause I've wrapped my feelings up and tied them tight with your hairbow and I curse this body for being anything less than what you want and I hate myself for daring to love, daring to want and I'll wait another minute but then I might explode cause I can't take another second of bearing this shameful load and til then I'll sit beside you and wish I wasn't lying with my very presence til then I'll wait and try to maintain some sense of ignorance cause this song is about you darlin though I'm sure you'll never know and I've wrapped my feelings up and tied them tight with your hairbow
2.
Come To Tea 04:00
wandering, whispering, don't say a word your childish mercy's the sweetest I have heard love me and let me belong to your smile don't forget me, just let me live in denial can't you believe in me, can't you realize that I'm drowning in the puddles that collect below your eyes and when your chest burns in anger mine fills up with despair and crippling fear that perhaps you don't care take me down, cause I've already fallen your kindness kills, and it's callin so I'll make eight cups of coffee in the hopes that you'll come to tea and give me looks that let me know there's no place you would rather be than sitting here at my table with two sugars and the sun watching me gladly unravel, watching me come undone take me down, cause I've already fallen your kindness kills, and it's callin callin me
3.
Oh Child 03:28
oh child, will you lay me down in the light of your sweet crown oh child, will you find my heart, leave me my eyes and a running start oh soul, bloated and black, you cannot lose the things you lack oh soul, just let me be; let me rest, let me sleep punish me and throw away everything I hold dear though I bruise your fragile cheekbones hold me tight and hold me near for I'm lost and out of place, drowning in nausea and regret and if there's some way to stop myself I haven't found it yet lay me down beneath the dogwood where the bark is brown with rot let my spirit fill your ear with the things my breathing self forgot tell me lies about my beauty, tell me truths about my sin and I'll fool myself into thinking that we can start again I'll light a candle for myself and a cigarette for you sitting in the chalk outlines you left behind as you walked through the rows of houses with a halo and veins filled with your disease how can someone so far away still speak through these trees I can't recall the first long whispers of your dolor in my spine I can't remember silken fingers or the sand crushed in your eyes I don't know the air that wrapped you trailing oil spills in the heat but lifetimes later I can hear your voice and shoot up your defeat and you may never know my name but you might have saved my life as the ashes pile around my ankles I wonder if you're alright are you alright? oh child, will you burn my wrists and let the scars never exist oh child, did you lead me here, cut my cord, and drink my tears? oh love, never go away; let me sit, let me stay oh love, will you let me know how you're doing buried under the snow
4.
Desperate 03:41
your eyes are spiderlegs that touch me and make my skin crawl peeking in between my curtains, cornering me in the hall prying in between my eyelids, peering deep into my brain pushing buttons, making messes, slowly driving me insane driving me insane inky veins criss-cross the open sky, branches that look like arms and you glare up at them and say through gritted teeth that surely you mean no harm it's overcast and I can't see far enough ahead to run blinded by your indiscretions, I am stoned and stunned and it's hard to remember that you're just a human being yeah it's hard to remember when you make me feel so desperately unclean
5.
But Why 01:08
all my gentle friends like to hear tales of what I do on the weekends or what I did when I was younger, or the times I almost died they like to live vicariously through all my fuckups even though I tell them it was all just circumstances and stupidity I was just bored and manic depressive I'm just dumb and self destructive but they seem to think it's cool that I'm killing myself slowly and I don't think it's cool anymore and I don't think it's romantic but they can't understand why I'd take their boredom over my dysfunction in a heartbeat all my gentle friends like to tell me about how they feel caged in by the ease of suburban living, as though I feel any different I'm just them but apathetic with some frayed wires in my brain could have conquered the adversities but instead I've given up I could have outdone my parents, could have overcome genetics guess I'm just surprised that I've survived my own poor judgement cause most of the things I've gone through were results of masochism or of immaturity or really really bad taste in men and bad taste in women and really, really, famously bad taste in friends
6.
7.
I was walking alone through the valley of doubt, all my friends had flown away so I slept in a beaten and abandoned old house and waited frustrated for day but when day came the sky revealed her bruises and scars and from the soil water began to rise so you and some stranger loaded me into his car and through the paved rivers we ride and the windows were wide open and the waves crashed on in and I started to cry but you kept up your chin and I held your thin hand so tight that it could break as I struggled, was juggled, and sank I was running through a tunnel in an unfamiliar place lined with broken glass, bottles, and mold and a strange man chased me down with a smile on his face as my heart and my innards grew cold for in that strange man's smile was a deep embossed cruelty, a look I'm afraid I know well with his pants undone and his laughter filthy that man chased me right down to hell and I tripped on my own feet and slammed into the concrete knew it was my fault as the blood pooled its soft heat and my last dying thought was that I'm a failure as I crumble and cry on the floor it was dark all around me as I felt my mind wake and my body lay flat on the bed and I thought it was my chance to stop the heartache created by thoughts in my head so I kicked and screamed or I thought that I did, and tried to wake myself up but my arms were like granite and lay heavy instead; my small strength just wasn't enough and my own mind laughed at me so piercing and mean made me feel like a prisoner, weak and unclean and I've never felt so scared or defeated before as I calcify on the shore
8.
I am just a human being, take my clothes off and you'll see cut me and I swear I'll bleed, I will, I will take the fork out of my pocket, stick it in the electrical socket watch me say I told you so, you're burned from your head to your toes used to listen to what I say but that was way back yesterday it's not like that anymore now that trust has gone out the door so I walk about my feet to leave me swallowing what tries to eat me my feet drag right behind, my life is my own design and I will die when I say that it's time not from this disease I caught out on those new york streets but I will die young, there's no doubt in that I'm seventeen years old and I'm as beat up as my hat but there will come a time when I will walk in a straight line with one foot in front of the other, with my sisters and my brothers and we will dance and we will dance oh yes we will we will dance I am just a human being, shave my skin off and you'll see cut me and I swear I'll bleed I will, I will take the knife out of my pocket, rip my arms out of their sockets I will watch as you stab me and beg for forgiveness fallin to my knees then I will cry cause it's not alright when sorry isn't good enough, the consequences must be tough but I have thought of all the pain that I've brought it's eating me alive, I promise you darlin I am dead inside but you revive me with the [?] in your eyes, see now that all I do is love you, I swear darlin this is far from over and there will come a time when I will look back on my life and all that I've really added up and I will look you in the eye and swear that I'm not lying and once and for all I will be right I will be right no lie I will be right, no lie I am just a human being, take my clothes off and you'll see cut me and I swear I'll bleed I will, I will take the dope out of my pocket, rip my arms out of their sockets watch me say I told you so as the future begins to grow and I surrender but there's no defeat this fight is over, you won me treat me well and take your time, my life is your own design and forget what you know and watch as we grow we have the rest of our lives to listen to each other bitch and whine and we will die when we say that it's time six feet under, be happy, cause darlin this is just the beginning and there will come a time when I will walk in a straight line with one foot in front of the other, with my sisters and my brothers and we will dance upon the ground, in love cause this is the salvation that I never anticipated and I will lay with her on a cloud in the sky when we shut our eyes, we'll see those butterflies and they will dance and they will dance, oh yes they will they will dance you are not a human being, I'll take your clothes off and you'll see shut your eyes and listen to me cause everything you touch turns green

about

"this EP is a sort of rough draft - it's all material that was supposed to be part of an album, but lack of time and money interfered and left me to record in four days on my laptop. so. it's just a collection of thoughts written over the last 18 months or so. I hope you enjoy it." - Dom

credits

released January 21, 2014

Dom played banjo, uke, guitars, melodica, rice-in-a-cup, leg-drum, vocal cords, and other miscellany. he also recorded and mixed everything and made the art.

big thank you to Joshy Squash for the loan of his instruments

special shout out to Kyle Krust and Mera for their kind words and for forcing me to not quit everything halfway through

also to everyone else for putting up with me

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Sliding Scale Records Greenville, North Carolina

Sliding Scale Records is run by two rad dudes that just want to make/put out music for those driven by a true passion for what they do.

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